I miss you, I need you, I love you

We promised each other that we will love each other till the end of the world. You asked me 'will I leave you because you have these infection?' I replied you, I will never leave you no matter how you become and how sick you are. I will take good care of you whenever you're sick. I spent most of my time for you is because I wanted you to feel that I always be there for you. However, I have a terrible and horrifying attitude. I hurts you all the time and making you disappointed all the time. Actually I did not break my promises I kept it and I remembered it. I just haven't done it yet. This 2 years and 8 months relationship I been through with you is not using money to retain it. I used my pure heart, time and effort in this relationship. I not willing to let you go at all. Many things I done behind you, you doesn't feel it at all. I used one month of preparation to prepare a beautiful Valentine's day for you. I went to florist to learn how to fold artificial flower and arranged the real flower. Even though I have skin allergic and nose sensitive, I still insist to do it for you. This is because I want you to know that I willing to sacrifice anything for you just to make you happy. I also have a timeline of 60 years for our future. All these plans I specially designed for you and follow what you wanted to do. 

We promised each other that you're my baby wifey and I'm your baby hubby. We promised that we will not break up no matter what circumstances. I asked you for few times. You keep saying that you confirm that you will only love me and marry me in the future. I also promised you that I will only love you. I will not expose to any other girls.If got girl want to get near me, I will report to you immediately. I don't mind that you do not know how to cook, don't go market, and many other more. But it's okay for me. All these things I can learn by now. I learn on behalf of you. I learn to go market buy vegetables, chicken, fruits once a week. I also promised you that I will not study abroad because of you. I don't want you to be suffer at here alone. Missing me but cannot meet me is really torturing you. All the things I do is just don't want to make you suffer. I want to make you happy all the time. 

After a week, I really felt that I really can't live without you. Human makes mistakes. This few days you broke my heart into pieces. I not trying to use money to buy back the relationship. I bought the necklace for you is because I promised you. I wanted to prove to you that I did not forget the promises that I promise you. You are the queen in my heart. The design of the necklace is heart shape with the crown on it. The crown symbolise you're the my queen forever. The heart shape is I will only love you for my entire life. When the heart shape and crown combined together, it means I wanted you to be my queen forever. Because of you, I willing to go to temple to take up the bible to read it. Unfortunately, my mandarin is way too bad. I can't understand at all. I put lots of effort and time on you is because I know is worth it. I buy you necklace, teddy bears and spend time and effort on you is because I know that in future you can give me a family, caring, and love that money cannot buy it. Till now, I still so miss you, I need you and I still very very very love you. 

I hate 2012

It has been an ages that I didn't update my blog. Since now I'm free, I wish to continue my blog. Life has make a lot of changes in these 2 years. But one thing has not change at all. That's my feeling towards my girlfriend, the love she gave me for all these years and many things that she made sacrifices because of me. I love her more than anything. My aunt just screwed up the 2012 Chinese New Year. She left us a bad memory because she had just pass away the day before the Chinese New Year. Things happen too sudden, none of us can accept that she had gone. My girlfriend worry about my condition, my friends around me felt sad for me, they shared my life no matter is happy or sad. Since life was created that we need to move forward, I has no choice but to move forward. Unfortunately, I can't control my mind which keep flashing back the memory my aunt left for me since I was young. At last, my lovely girlfriend gave me her hand to pull me up and cheer me all the time no matter where she is. In my entire life, I just love her only.

Love you, Ruby Teo.

My fault

I'm sorry that I not understand you. I did angry at you last night. This is the reason why I did not want to text you. I keep thinking whether which parties having the problem. Finally, I found out the answer. That's me myself. I did not put effort to understand you and tolerate you. I hope currently is still early for me to put more effort to understand you and your feeling as well. Apart from that, I did realized you kept change me to be more friendly and sociable with your friends. I will try my best to change the bad habit that in plant under the bottom of my heart. You're the thing that I wanted the most. I don't want to lose it. I wanted you not because of the sake of lonely. I wanted you because I really need you and I love you. The true feeling will never fade away and going to be immortalize by the time we spent together and the pictures that we took before.

Love you and always.

Apology

I wanted to apologize that I have insufficient time to accompany you during the exam week. I miss you so much even though I busy doing my revision or having my exam. Beside, I know that you will always by my side and support me whenever you are. I going to repay everything that what I had owned you from the past. I'm sorry that I did not accompany you when you needed me. I will allocate time for both of us to go out. I will not abandon you for sake of anything because I love you and not afford to lose you for the second time. Your love for me is limitless. All I wanted to say is just I love you.

Ruby Teo

When I first saw you, I was scared to talk to you.

When I spoke to you, I was scared to hold you.

When I held you, I was scared to love you.

Now that I love you, I am scared to lose you.

I love you, Ruby Teo...

Miss you so much.

I will never leave you anymore. That's is the first and the last time the day I left you. It will never happen anymore. I want you to stay beside me forever. Everything we did will bring to our future. The things that happened around us will be our memories. This few days I very miss you but too bad we can't meet each other. I miss you so much. Once I see you, I don't feel like letting you go back. This is because I not willing to let you leave me.

I love you, Ruby Teo.

The day you went away

You're the person that can colors my life. Without you, the colors of life is black and white. The day you went away is the day where my life comes to black and white and where everything started to be meaningless. I need you to color my life. I don't want to live in a life that is colorless. I doing my best to make you happy. My feeling will never be comfortable till I get you. Everyday I live in a day of sadness and sorrow. I wanted to hold your hand and touch our future together. I wanted to hold it tightly without letting go anymore. This is where everything started to be colorful and meaningful.

Sadness and Sorrow.

I felt very regret. Just because of one decision can make everything change. Is a big changes. Why should I do that to myself? It is really suffering and the feeling of suffering is terrible. Am I really a devil? A person with cold heart, emotionless, hatred by people and make people feels uncomfortable when around with me. Is that true? I slowly found all the things that I mentioned above is true.

Angel or Devil

Am I an Angel or Devil? I think that I'm a devil more than an Angel. This is because I hurt you more than I love you. If I given a chance to revert the time, I will love you more and appreciate more. I don't want to be an Angel or Devil. I just want to be neutral. So that I'm normal. If I choose one of the categories means either I enjoy in heaven or suffer in hell. I want to do everything that related to us and meaningful. Not meaningless anymore. Argument is part of the meaningless thing that I causes it. I don't want this anymore. I want something that peace and secure that goes around us. My friends is part of my flesh and bones. They guide me and I seeks advice from them. But you is my heart. Without you, the heartbeat will stop. You and my friends are really important in my life.

Speechless

I have no idea why I so miss you. I can even dream about you when I was sleeping. You're angel to me but I'm the devil for you. Anyway, time to go. Goodbye.

Environment between high school and college

During our high school, we wished to enter college as soon as possible. But now I wished to go back high school. The moments in high school is unforgettable. My friends and my teachers are part of my family in the school. I not missing the school. I missing the moments that happened in school with my friends and teachers. Last Friday, I went back to Cempaka. I recalled the memories while sitting beside the swimming pool. Everything is just beautiful. But college will not happen such things. I hope I can revert the time and go back to high school. Jokes with my teachers, become an irresponsible monitor, the gamers in the class, disturbing teachers and my friends and many more. Apart from that, all my dearest friends in always by my side. They just like my siblings. But in college, I can't find such friends anymore. Form 5 Commerce 1 and Form 5 Commerce 2 are always a family. Nothing can separate us. The one and only one in my heart. Is just them. I love them so much..... and my dearest Ruby Teo as well.

@@

this few day i will b in home jail. too boring. i want to hang out with my friends or my dear, but cannot. cus my parents ngam edy. said me go out everyday. ==... sometime i really just go for meeting but they thought that i will hang out with my friends or my dear. cus they knew him same college with me. so they thought that if i go to college, i will meet him.. unfortunately, they are wrong. cus our time are different. like example, he finished at 4pm, but my meeting start at 4pm. how to meet each other??? even he have break time for 1 hr or 2 hr, but he together with his friends. if i join them, i feel like very weird. cus i dunno them. even i knew them, i just keep quiet. cus we not very close to each other. so i don't want to kacau them. sometime i really try to join them but really don't have topic to chat. haiz.. gonna miss him so much. recently he got many assignment to do. because of the assignment made our dating and chatting decrease yet can't blames it. assignment also got advantage such as will make him improve language, get more knowledge, get more experience, know more information, and more. so, i can't blame it. when the lecture give him a assignment to do, its his responsibility to do it and finish it. beside that, group assignment also the same.

anyway, its time to sleep now. Gud Nite.

by ruby

p.s. please forgive my grammar!!!

:-(

haiz... recently he very stress. and i, as his gf, don't no what to do. beside that, every time when he got assignment to do, i felt that our distance very far even v are near each other. when our distance become very far, v will start to argue. i don't no wether is i think too much or he too busy and stress. haiz.. i just know i cant disturb him too much and i can't make him more stress. so i will tell myself don't argue with him and don't think too much. but sometime i cant control myself. anyway, i got to sleep.. i just try my best to more tolerant him.

by ruby

Just Leave Me Alone

Why this world is so cruel? I never done well before since I enter college. All the group assignments is just screwed up. I tired for all these things. I had been stay up for few nights doing the assignments. But still screwed up because one of my group member plagiaries it. Sometime I rather do everything by myself so that I can't blame anyone. I just can blame myself and my capability of doing something. Some even lazy using their brain to think. God grants us the brain to think. Why don't use it? Just try to think. Is not really hard right? I don't understand at all the concept in this world. I don't think we have difficulties to think something that we know. When I heard my lecturer said "this is purely cut and paste", I was stunned and stare at my lecturer. But the truth is I didn't even do it. I not sure whether other members did it or not. But I'm sure that I not doing that. Can Taylor's just eliminate the procedure of group assignments? I just want to do things by myself. Maybe I am selfish. Basically everyone is selfish. We fight for our own survivor to survive in this world. The truth is I am selfish, stubborn or maybe stingy as well. I really felt very moody when I heard that phrase came out from my lecturer. I just felt that don't want to talk to anyone. Is just pissing me off during that time. Conclusion, I prefer doing thing by myself and present it by myself. Not to say I don't give chance to other people to express their own capabilities. When I entered college, I realized one thing that is selfishness. Everyone is being selfish. Show no mercy to anyone. Challengers and competition takes place in anywhere, anytime and at anyone.

I luv u *shout out loud*

by ruby

You and Me

Both of us knew that ourselves not well yet. What you like, I going to dislike or vice versa. Maybe we have different upbringing just like what I always said. I had been trained by mother to have a such strange things with weird taste towards object. Sometime the location and the situation can change everything in a split second. I can see that you tolerate me till the maximum. I felt so grateful for that. I trying my best to change your lifestyle. This is the reason why I don't want to chat with you in the middle of night. I not sure whether you realize about your eyes or not. Your eyes is getting better. You just mentioned that you're not a good girlfriend. Then how about me? I don't think I'm a good boyfriend as well. But we are try our best to become. No matter how angry I am towards you, my feeling towards you will not fade away. Before we were together, I heard a lot of speculation about you. Frankly speaking, what they said about you, I just ignore it. Once I fall in love to you, I need to love you and your everything. I need to trust you. No matter what circumstances, you're my everything.

I love you!!!!

Group 2.4

This is my group photo with my classmate. Last Friday, we went to Klang in the morning just to have our heavy breakfast. It was a memorable moment because this is the first time we organize an event. Besides that, it was a successful event for the first time. By the time, we reach to school. Everyone can't concentrate because we are exhausted but we did enjoyed ourselves. This event just gave us a blast. I can see everyone wear a smile on their face and the group picture is look like we are in a big family. We are so caring to each other even though we had some argument with one another but this will not affect our friendship. We had get along with one another for around 4 months in the class. During the first semester, we are just like strangers to everyone. I did felt that too. But the second semester, everyone make their first step to get along with each other. I was so grateful to have such a good classmate. Not only that, I also have a good, supportive, considerate, beautiful, understanding, tolerate, and elegance girlfriend.

An Asshole.

I very hate you. You think I want you to be my friend?? I don't like you to join my group with your shit face. You make me feels very embarrassed when we was in the public. Showing me those childish face. Act like a clown. Since you love to be clown, just be it. I just don't understand why I so hate you after you have some conflict between my friend. You make me very disappointed as my friends. All my friends are truly gorgeous except you. Not only that, I realized that you love to live in fantasyland. You have a childish imagination. You are too childish. I don't wish to be friend with you anymore.

Please FUCK off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oOo

Bullshit

My holiday almost over. Next week I going to continue my tertiary education. My final examination results going to release tomorrow. I very worry and nervous. Although I had spent a lot of time and effort in this examination, but I still don't have confident. This is because during the SPM examination I did put effort in but at last the results came out is not what I expected. So sometime I think how much effort I put, the outcome is still the same. Why should be like that? Many teachers said 'Practices makes perfect'. Is it true? For me, I no longer trust this. I don't want waste my time doing something stupid yet the results is still the same. Now, I rather spend my time playing game, outing with friends, watching movie, and many more. I wanna make my life just like in the wonderland. Everything is perfect. No stress but just entertainment , No anger but just laughter.

Miss you

Time passes really slow without you. I very miss you now. But you need to prepare for examination. I don't want to disturb you. What I can do just miss you and love you. I will keep waiting for you. I promised I going to bring you out after your examination to relax yourself. Currently, my mind keep thinking about you. I very miss you, my dear.

I love you