Disappointment

I felt that what I do is making myself disappointed. I made her disappointed. I make everyone disappointed. What can I do now? This few nights I can't sleep at all. My eyes shine brightly to the ceiling and thinking something that can't happen on me. Can anyone teach me? I have no idea how to control my mind. I want to have a good night sleep. Should I consume some sleeping pills to make me sleep? Or someone knock on my head let me faint? Or just commit suicide? No need to think so many things. This world is so unfair. I can't blame anything. I just can blame myself that I still not good enough. Why can't this world be perfect? I just want you to believe. Is it so hard to fulfill? I still remembered what you told me when the first time we met each other. I felt very bored and lonely without you. I have no idea how to overcome this problem. The only way I overcome this problem is text you or call you. My heart is already broken into pieces. I just speechless and feels disappointed.